Saturday, June 20, 2009

Life

I don't actually know what I want to write about today, I just know I need to write. I didn't have a chance to be creative this week. What I am finding out about myself is that I can't create with other people around me even my art friends. It must be necessary for me to explore freely in the solace of my own head, in my own space without being watched, talked to, distracted, etc. I think back to the times that I have been my most creative and I had a space to be completely alone, I was alone or I had been able to shut everyone out. July will bring change to my creative space and I think I will be able to focus more. I'm finding out a lot of things about myself lately. Some good, some bad. We aren't perfect and I believe that my intent and actions have been based on my compassion and generosity; however, that doesn't mean they were right. I think with my heart; not with my head. That's a dangerous thing for me since I can't see past my own shadow. I can't act so quickly. I have to give myself a chance to work through the unknowns so as not to make stupid decisions. At my age and thru all my past experiences, you would think I knew myself well enough to anticipate my own needs. Maybe that will come at age 50.

Anyway, feels good to get these thoughts out of my head. A little sunshine today will do everyone a lot of good. I'm going to think about the beautiful things today and how I can use them in my artwork.

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